America, thanks for showing up. I know this wasn’t what you were expecting, but this is an intervention.
You have a problem. You’re officially addicted to something that in the right dosage can actually provide relief.
It’s not narcotics, booze, Amazon or reality television. No, it’s something much more difficult to turn away from.
When somehow an afternoon in the middle of April while both the NBA and NHL are in the middle of exciting playoff series gets hijacked by what amounts to calendar entries in Microsoft Outlook — or Google Calendar if you prefer — you have a problem.
When said calendar entries morph into predictions about things won’t won’t happen for six months that problem takes the fast lane straight to addiction. Full blown and ugly. The kind of thing that makes your kids cringe and your significant other wonder why you don’t spend that much time on them.
This awful affliction that has befallen you? I’m talking about the NFL and more specifically the revealing of the NFL schedule.
Do we really need to dedicated television specials and hours worth of talking heads online and on air to breaking down a schedule where everyone knew who the opponents would be but just didn’t know what order they would appear in?
On top of that, is it really worth the time, effort or brain cells it takes to breakdown the wins and losses on said schedule? Especially when those predictions are like Adam Sandler movies. Pretty awful with the exception of once every ten years.
There is nothing wrong with spending Sundays in the fall locked in your man cave with your favorite jersey, NFL Sunday Ticket, a plate of nachos and a healthy dose of self loathing. It’s even not bad to dedicate a few nights in late April or early May to watch your team shop for their newest additions via the draft.
But when were talking about a calendar, not a transaction, not a game but a calendar entry? Yeah, that’s where we draw the line between healthy entertainment and a full blown affliction.
Maybe it’s time to step away and get yourself checked out.